disc Proclaimed Sanctuary SKRaTCHED!
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Friday, June 13, 2003
Mood:Good
Song of choice: "Queen of Pain" by Alkaline Trio
Topic:Why the hell do I like this song?

Queen of Pain
There's a fire forming not too far from here.
Out on the east coast maybe it resides in you my dear.
We're worn out on all courtesy
We've made our curtain calls.
Like vampire bats deprived of blood
into the new york city night we crawl.
And you've got a funny way
of showing off your bathroom surgery.
You said you were just cooling down
from plans of leaving me.
There's something I should tell you
for we may not have much time..
I've never met arms like yours.
And the stars at night are big and bright
deep in your eyes miss vincent.
You told me once I made you smile
we both know damn well I didn't.
I'm not much of a jester
but I'd test poison food for you your majesty.
You're royal blue.
I'm loyalty, my king of pain there's a hard rain falling,
flooding your attic it's clear.
I can't put out the fire which resides in you my dear.
There's something I should tell you
for we may not have much time.
I've never seen scars like yours.


Why do I like this song I mean it's obvious what the dude is talking about...some chick he's in love with who has tried to kill herself serveral a times and he's focusing on the scars on her arms. Hmm I really couldn't say but I really do like it. Perhaps it's morbid fasination. Hmm...you ever have that feeling like no one can reach you? Like people speak and you kinda...just nod at their exsistance but don't really how do I say it....listen I suppose? I feel that way right now...hmm it's odd.

Now! On to the Wisdom that is Games (always such a good thinker! Ladies intellegent and good looking!! come on you know you want him! hehe I'll find you a lady friend yet Games!)

Lol 144 huh well i probably shouldn't intrude into your e-mail and fill the
whole thing up huh:). Well i think the lost bit does suite you very well,
you know its kind of funny they way it is when people wish the ones they
care for never go through certain pains and yet it is the that pain that in
most cases (assuming you accept and learn from it) that forges your into a
the person you are today. In the beginning We are like everyone else
basically sleep, eat and shit but as we grow older and things go our way we
simply continue on our path without really questioning it but through pain
we revaulate and alter our courses in life By the time we reach the apex out
teenage years we're no longer the same as everyone else no longer one minute
block of coal to burn in our stupidity now we are diamonds strong clear and
with our own unique pristine glow. Quite frankly Kim would not be Kim or at
the very least not complete(lol who wants an incomplete i only tolerate 100%
Kim and nothing else).


The boy speaks truth about pain. I kinda came to that conclusion oh about last week as you all know when I was with Jonnell. I mean how do I put it...there's a certain amount of thankfulness in the bowels of hell I've traversed. To tell the truth if I had it all to do again knowing what I know now I would still do it. I mean...how do I say this. I really do hate sound like a masochist...but in reality I think I am so I just kinda need to get over it.

You guys remember the fury that was my Michael entry oh yeah you all know what I speak of. Well after that Lum talked sense not forgiveness that everyone has feelings and public humiliation is not deserved. Lum is my shoulder angel. So I apologized for my childish actions and slowly I'm learning to deal with it all. He and I talk lightly mostly what did you do today how is your family and so forth and so on. But...it's like I took a weight off of me. I mean you know hating anyone is an effort it really is, I mean you could just let it go. So that's basically what I did. I just kinda went fuck it. Past is past right? The story keeps changing depending on who the hell you ask so I just kinda choose to go whatever. What good is it to Keep hating a person I never see? Right so there is a certain amout of peace it's weird.

It's good though...he was the only friend I really had in middle school so it's good to have that back. Mind you we were both imature back then so we spent more than half the time making fun of each other or trying to trip one another or get the other in trouble(this was mostly me heh waht I was 12) So yeah...we still pick on one another but...it's good to have my friend back. Someone that remembers little Kim when she never talked to anyone ever and was quiet and wouldn't dare stand up to anyone...back when she was like everyone else. It's weird kinda like looking at the past at something I completely forgotten exsisted.

Lol so weird to remember me like that. I kinda forgot I was ever like that you know? I kinda assumed that I was always the way I was which is foolish obviously but I never put thought into it you know. Hmm it's so freakin weird but cool at the same time. Nearly on the same level of like seeing all your friends when they were kids...it's just unfathomable....wow hmmm I'm kinda proud of myself though for talking to him once more. I'm a very OLD 16 year old...but the thing is so are all of you.

All of you are old you know...or perhaps just serious. Thoughtful if nothing else. Lost souls...definately...i can't think of a way to collectively describe what went wrong or what went right along the way...but good or bad...I'm glad it happened because it made you guys you ya know?

OKAY that's enough of me I'm gonna go and help my mom in the garden and see if the lilies are blooming again.

Bye Guys!
Kim

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